This is an archived message posted to the Kayak Building Bulletin Board. If you would like to ask a question about building kayaks, you can post a new message.
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through my shop,
No epoxy was stirring, - all my stripping had flopped!
. . . . So I gathered all my questions around the computer with care:
For some posts to Schade, Nicholas's - would anyone care?
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You see, my bandsaw's platen was but a crooked, bent bed,
So visions of Ross's yak were but pipedreams in my head,
And the tablesaw's kerf creep and top not so flat,
Were terrible for ripping - my every cut made just crap!
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When out from the ocean there arose such a clatter
That I sprang from my keyboard to see what was the matter . . .
Away through the workshop I flew like a flash,
Jumped the coaming gutter and the twisted-grain ash . . .
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(Now the moon was reflecting from the waves row on row,
And the surf was pounding with a strong undertow.)
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When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a kayak sleigh pulled by Great grimy kayakeers!!!
With a little head paddler so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Schade, Nick!
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More rapid than Friedals, his yakkeers they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
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"Hey Mark, hey Nolan, hey Brian stop your gybin',
Hey Kelly, hey Barry, hey Pete Rudie where you hidin'?"
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"On Peter, on Ian, on Paul L. ets build faster,
On Dale, On Hank, Ohoh - his butt's stuck in plaster!!"
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"Hey Jack M, hey Randy, hey Bill nice cool rudder!
Hey Bart, hey Jan, hey David phone your mudder!!"
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"Up Jim, Up Stan, Up Kent Le (great) Boatillier,
Up Craig, Up Joe - don't you EVER use fillier???"
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"And Nancy, and Tammy, and Helen - our few vixen,
And Ed, and Mike - better stay outa da kitchin!"
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"Now Paul A, now Ian, now Shawn what you fixin'?
Now Grant, now Jack S, now lee qwitcherbitchin'!!"
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"So let's pull together, to help this poor rookie out,
And get him on the right track to a half-decent boat!"
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"Some grumblings alright and lets make it clear,
It's o.k. even from 'Roberts, The well-Read, Hosed, Engineer'!!!!
And now with some more of Dean's test panels in,
It's a tossup, so let's use some of Roberts 3.2 oz satin!!"
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(As dry heaves before the smell of old cigarettes multiply . . .
When they meet with an obstacle, the obstacles good'bye!!!)
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. . . . And so into my workshop, the yakkeers they drew,
With their yaks full of tools and Schade, Nick's new urethane glue!
And from the top of the shear, from the coaming too tall,
They planed away, scraped away, smoothed away all!!!
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And then in a twinkling, I heard from inside the bow,
Some scrabbling and scraping, I still don't know how,
So I poked in my head, and was turning it around,
When down from the endpour Schade, Nick's whole ass crashed to the ground!!
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Luckily dressed in thick neoprene from his head to his toes,
- "Didn't hurt me at all! - checking where dookie-smutz goes!" -
And a bundle of tools, in a water proof pack,
He looked just like a paddler dismounting his yak.
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A wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Assured my deck stripping could go right ahead,
He spoke to the horde and went straight to work -
Answered all my questions, then turned with a jerk,
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And laying his paddle aside of his yak's nose
And giving a nod, in the ocean spray flows!
He sprang to his yak sleigh, to the team gave a whistle
And away they all stroked outa town on their missiles!
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But I heard him exclaim as he surfed out of sight . . .
Merry Christmas to all and may your wood-strips glue tight!
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-mike allen
This is an archived message from The Kayak Building Bulletin Board.
Guillemot Kayak - High
Performance Wooden Sea Kayak Designs
